This summer, I decided to really give the whole "be-present-in-the-moment" matter a shot.

I wanted to take this seriously, so I decided to check out a couple self-assist books dedicated to the idea of "living in the now."

And here'due south the thing: some of the ideas, I could really, actually get backside. But others didn't resonate with me equally deeply. And that'southward okay. Download our complete productivity guide here for more tips on improving your  productivity at work.

Cocky-assist books aren't meant to be mindlessly devoured and followed diligently, similar a cookbook recipe for happiness. Y'all can cherry-red selection the lessons that fit your life.

Which is why we've gone alee and done the hard work for y'all. Here, nosotros've curated a list of 9 cocky-help books to assist yous reach professional and personal growth -- forth with our biggest takeaways from each.

1. 52 Small Changes: Ane Yr to a Happier, Healthier Youby Brett Blumenthal (2012)

This year, my New Twelvemonth's resolution was to be healthy.

Originally, this meant a complete lifestyle overhaul: replacing meals with kale juices, waking up at five a.yard. for runs, avoiding all contact with sugar, becoming so proficient at SoulCycle that the instructor would ask if I've ever considered teaching on the side …

As the month progressed, existence aggressively healthy became more nigh moderation. Occasionally choosing the salad instead of the burger. Drinking more water. Cycling exactly twice a week -- in the dorsum of the grade, dripping and (usually) pretty defeated.

My quest for big changes became a search for small ones.

This is the main premise of Blumenthal'south book, which points out that all big changes first with small ones. Condign a healthier person doesn't come up from making ane big change. Information technology comes from small changes, like choosing salads instead of burgers, eating a piffling less saccharide, and downsizing your portions.

In her book, Blumenthal challenges you lot to brand 1 small change each week, targeted at improving your diet, fitness, mental well-existence, or light-green living. At the end of each calendar week, she gives you a weekly changes checklist, so you lot know how to integrate these changes into your lifestyle.

Even though many of Blumenthal's changes seem small (e.g. take a multivitamin, savour time lone), Blumenthal promises that at the end of the year, y'all will have fully transformed your life: you will be happier, healthier, more confident, more productive, and more positive.

Her book encourages holistic changes -- improving your mental, physical, and spiritual lifestyle, ane small-scale, attainable step at a time.

The Large Takeaway: Dull and steady even so wins the race. Tackle your health and lifestyle goals one small change at a time. If your New year's resolution seems overwhelming and unattainable, encourage yourself to focus on one little change per week: go more sleep, practise five-minutes of meditation each morning time, or have a daily multivitamin. And so, all you accept to practise is repeat for 51 more weeks -- like shooting fish in a barrel, correct?

2. The Power of Habit: Why We Practise What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg (2012)

When yous woke up this morn, did you practise anything remotely different? Did you make up one's mind you'd offset your morning with a drinking glass of lemon water, even though you ordinarily drink coffee outset? Did you sit down to watch an episode of Game of Thrones, even though you always watch Fox News? Did y'all tie your shoes differently, just for fun?

I'grand betting you didn't do any of these things -- you were probably on autopilot, going through your normal routine without taking the time to counterbalance your options or consciously make whatever decisions.

What you exercise in the morning, what you practise throughout the 24-hour interval -- information technology'southward generally only habit.

In this compelling book, Charles Duhigg examines why habits form, and how nosotros tin break them. He examines a range of different scenarios where large decisions were made, from MLK and the American civil rights movement, to the creation of Starbucks, cartoon upon scientific research to bolster his claims.

Ultimately, Duhigg explains that our goals tin can merely be met if we change our underlying habits, and nosotros can only change our habits if nosotros empathize why they form in the first identify.

The Big Takeaway: Your life rests on a business firm foundation of addiction. If you're unhappy with whatever aspect of your life, your biggest opportunity to create lasting alter lies in your power to modify your habits. For instance, Duhigg wrote about i adult female who decided to quit smoking. By breaking this one keystone habit, a chain of events occurred: beginning, she began jogging more than, which somewhen changed her eating habits, her sleeping habits, and even her spending habits.

Side by side time you lot're feeling overwhelmed with your big aspirations, start past irresolute one habit that inhibits you from reaching that goal, and let new habits drive y'all from there.

3. Brand Your Bed: Petty Things That Tin can Change Your Life ... And Perhaps the World by William H. McRaven (2017)

In 2014, Admiral William H. McRaven gave a Offset voice communication to the University of Texas at Austin. He talked about the x lessons he learned during six months of Navy Seal preparation, and how anyone tin can use those same lessons to alter the earth. The video of his oral communication went viral, encouraging McRaven to write a volume based on those aforementioned principles, every bit well as additional stories from his naval career. According to McRaven, hither are a few ways to change the world:

    1. Make your bed showtime thing in the morning, which reminds you lot little things in life affair.
    2. Admit y'all can't practise it alone, and learn to inquire for help.
    3. Don't be afraid of failure or setbacks.
    4. Be your best in the darkest moment, like a SEAL is taught to be his all-time when he'due south under the keel, at the darkest moment of his mission.

The Large Takeaway: The reason many people recall they can't "change the globe" is because that sounds unrealistic and grandiose. But McRaven argues that you lot tin can change a life -- your own, and other people'southward -- through small gestures, petty accomplishments, and a sincere inclination to hang onto hope at all costs.

4. The vii Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change past Stephen R. Covey (1989)

Not only has Stephen Covey's volume sold more than 25 million copies, but Time as well listed it as one of "The 25 Nearly Influential Business Management Books." Bill Clinton even invited Covey to counsel him on the volume'south principles during his presidency.

25 years afterwards publication, the wisdom behind the 7 habits Covey presents yet holds truthful.

While I won't spoil all these habits, I will say that Covey separates his seven habits into iii categories:

  1. Private victory: learning to prioritize your goals, visualize your dreams, and act proactively rather than reactively.
  2. Public victory: learning how to collaborate and compromise, empathize with others, and become a team role player and a leader.
  3. Renewal: learning how to utilize spirituality, meditation, and fifty-fifty service to maintain these lessons over your lifetime.

Covey provides you with the tools to adapt to change, and the power to reach your best professional and personal self.

The Big Takeaway: Covey came up with two terms in his book: "abundance mentality," which applies to someone who is not competitive when it comes to success and believes success is more accessible with others' involvement; and "scarcity mentality," which applies to people who recollect success is but possible if they do it solitary.

Covey posits that the most successful people are the "abundance mentality" people: those who are able to gloat the success of other people, and even share recognition and responsibility for their own successes. And so if y'all want to exist successful, don't be competitive. Instead, learn to use the people effectually you as resources, consul responsibility, and piece of work as a team player.

v. Crushing Information technology!: How Great Entrepreneurs Build Their Concern and Influence - and How You Can, As well past Gary Vaynerchuk (2018)

If zip else, this book offers some pretty unique arguments next time your dad asks why you don't have a corporate (read: total-fourth dimension) job notwithstanding.

But honestly, in 2018 the arguments for pursuing a less conventional, more entrepreneurial career are valid: many people have plant success past creating their own alternative paths.

But since these paths don't follow any blueprints, it can be tricky (and scary) to figure out where and how to start.

In his book, four-fourth dimension New York Times bestselling author Vaynerchuk outlines exactly how to become a successful person without following a corporate path. His volume provides useful and tangible advice on how to excel on social media platforms to constitute and sustain a powerful personal make -- no matter who you are. Whether you're interested in becoming the next YouTube superstar, Instagram influencer, iTunes podcaster, or Spotify musician, his book offers strategic advice drawn from other successful influencers' real experiences.

The Big Takeaway: This book isn't a "get-rich-quick" scheme. Instead, information technology'south a guide that shows you lot how other people accept become successful doing what they love, and how yous can, likewise. It encourages you lot to dream bigger: whether you lot're a plumber (in which case, "your pillar should be Facebook," writes Vaynerchuk) or a podcaster (like John Lee Dumas, who followed Vaynerchuk's advice and is now the creator of one of the top-ranked concern podcasts on iTunes, which grosses effectually $200,000 per month). Ultimately, there'southward a social media platform and strategy for everyone: you just have to find it and put it into action.

6. How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie (1936)

I bet you'd exist difficult-pressed to find someone who hasn't heard of this book. Information technology's one of the best-selling books of all fourth dimension, and was named number 19 on Time'southward list of 100 most influential books.

To exist honest, if this was written in 2018 and preached things similar, "central techniques in treatment people," "six ways to make people like you," "how to win people to your style of thinking," and, "how to change people without giving criminal offense or arousing resentment," I'd think information technology was a bunch of nonsense.

But, this volume was published in 1936. And information technology's withal listed under Amazon's best-sellers, 82 years subsequently. Then I'chiliad thinking author Dale Carnegie is probably onto something.

Some of the advice is simple: smile, say someone else's proper noun when talking to her -- and some is more complex, like, "let the other person experience your thought is his or hers," which might take some practice.

The Large Takeaway: Hither's the gist of why Carnegie'due south advice endures -- people similar to talk about themselves. Everyone wants to experience special, understood, and appreciated. If you make people feel this way, they like you better. And then whether you're the leader of a big marketing firm or in your commencement total-fourth dimension position, learn to listen to the people around you, ask them meaningful questions nigh themselves, praise them for their good ideas, empathise with their indicate of view even during an argument, and remain humble. If you make people feel special, they'll alive upwards to the keen reputation y'all've created for them.

7. Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for Truthful Belonging and the Courage to Stand Lonely past Brene Chocolate-brown (2017)

To me, the title itself sounded similar a contradiction: find a way to belong, and detect a way to stand alone? How do those two things fit together?

Brown argues that you can't have one without the other: yous can't learn how to belong anywhere until you learn who you are and how you should fit. She writes, "Truthful belonging requires u.s.a. to believe in and belong to ourselves and so fully that we can observe sacredness both in beingness a part of something and in standing alone … true belonging is not something we negotiate or achieve with others; it's a daily practice that demands integrity and actuality."

In other words, how can you authentically fit in to a grouping or community if you're not existence your true self? And how tin can you be your true self if you don't larn who you are without the pressures or expectations of your community?

Our civilization today doesn't make "belonging" easy. Dark-brown says that nosotros frequently strive to be perfect, pleasing, non-confrontational, and, as a issue, placidity. Nosotros are terrified of braving what she calls "the wilderness of uncertainty and criticism."

While being tranquillity might make for less complicated relationships, information technology also makes for less accurate ones.

The Big Takeaway: The first of import lesson is that all of u.s. have an innate need to connect with others (something Brownish establish in her research). But making connections is difficult. Brown suggests reaching out and finding connections with those who are different from you. She likewise advises searching for truth in these relationships, within yourself and in others. If that sounds a chip too much similar yoga-guru-jargon, it actually just means being honest about who you are even at the risk of confrontation, and encouraging other people to be honest with y'all. She recommends learning how to truly heed, ask deeper-level questions, and always be "more curious than defensive."

8. The Subtle Fine art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Arroyo to Living a Expert Life by Mark Manson (2016)

Have you ever heard someone say something overly positive -- "It'll all work out, never surrender on your dreams, you are a superstar!" -- and thought to yourself, Sometimes, information technology doesn't all just work out … sometimes, life isn't fair, and I wish nosotros'd all simply exist honest virtually that.

You would probably become forth pretty well with superstar blogger and author Marking Manson.

I'll admit, at first, his communication can seem a bit jarring. Growing up in a society in which positivity and having big dreams are encouraged, information technology was weird to read, "F**thou positivity. Let's be honest, shit is f**ked and we take to live with information technology."

Only his book has sold over two million copies, and this rare and unflinching honesty is probably why.

Manson provides inquiry-backed arguments to say nosotros tin can improve our lives if we acquire to take our limitations, our flaws, and the inherent unfairness of life. We can't all exist superstars. He writes that nosotros will be happier, healthier, and more authentic, if nosotros learn to take when we've failed and re-directly our dreams, rather than inappropriately believing that we should be a winner only considering we try.

Although it sounds rather grim, maybe it's non. Peradventure the person who hasn't become the next Justin Bieber later on ten years of effort should attain for a new dream, because likely, the only alternative to that is resentment and frustration, and there'south nothing positive nearly that.

The Big Takeway: Manson explains -- in his ain very elegant fashion -- that there are only so many things we tin "give a f**grand nigh," and we demand to endeavor our best to limit that list. We spread ourselves too thin, which does usa a disservice. It makes us miss out on the important things. For instance, I bet yous care about having a job you dear, and becoming rich. Only what if I asked you to choose? Manson says you should choose -- if you want to do something yous love, focus all your fourth dimension, energy, and effort only on that.

9. You lot Are a Badass: How to Cease Doubting Your Greatness and Showtime Living an Crawly Life by Jen Sincero (2013)

Have you ever woken upwardly in the middle of the night and thought, Is this really the best I tin do, and is this really the best life I can lead? If you take, you'll appreciate Sincero'southward journeying, which started that aforementioned way.

Her book is all nigh learning how to create the life you desire -- a meaningful, happy, purposeful life, nevertheless that looks to you.

As Sincero writes, "You may have heard stories about people who had these major breakthroughs … they found a lump or got their electricity turned off … when suddenly they woke up, transformed. But you lot don't have to wait until you hit stone bottom to starting time itch out of your pigsty. All yous have to exercise is make the decision."

If you're unhappy, Sincero will inspire you to change your life. Plus, she won't allow for any of your usual excuses, similar non having the fourth dimension (to which Sincero would reply, "y'all e'er have the time.")

As well delving into how to alter your life, Sincero discusses where we larn these excuses (childhood, society), and why nosotros're sometimes more afraid to go after what we desire than just have failure from the commencement.

The Big Takeaway: Enough with the excuses. Enough with the "maybe side by side twelvemonth" or "that's for someone else" or "I'm not meant for that kind of (task, relationship, life)." Sincero explains that you accept more time than you remember, and yous demand to give yourself that push ("your life depends on information technology," Sincero urges). So get started -- not just with the endeavour, but with the attitude. Equally many of her readers accept praised, Sincero's book led them to their "destiny" because it created a vox in their heads that told them they deserved to become after that job, that soulmate, or that hobby. And information technology reminded them how massively important it is to alive your most fulfilling and meaningful life -- now.

Take me to Projects

New Call-to-action

Originally published Feb 19, 2018 6:00:00 AM, updated June 10 2021